Waiter!

“Diane, listen. I –“ “I’m not finished. Do you remember when we were in Boca and you left the hotel to go play golf with your friends? Do you remember that, Roger? I called Stanley that afternoon, Roger. I know you didn’t play golf with him. Was it that blonde bimbo again? What’s her name? Stacey? Did you really think you could keep that from me? God! You are such a man. I can’t stand you.”

“You can’t stand me? You can’t stand me? Why do you think there was a Stacey in the first place, Diane? Every day, Diane. Every single day, it’s Roger you’re not doing this right, Roger stop doing that, Roger Roger Roger Roger Roger. I can’t take it anymore. It’s unbearable.”

“How dare you say that to me? How dare you? I’ve given every once of my life to this marriage and you’re making it out like this is my fault. I’m not the one with the bimbo girlfriend. Waiter! Waiter!”

“We’re not leaving, Diane. We are going to have a nice dinner and enjoy ourselves like any normal couple. This is our date night. This is supposed to be nice. I cannot believe you brought up that girl. That was years ago. Didn’t I say I was sorry? Didn’t I come crawling back to you on hand and knee and beg for forgiveness? That part of my life is over. Finished. And I feel terribly about it. But you can’t expect me to let you walk all over me now. It’s unbearable.”

“And how are you folks enjoying your time so far? Have you had a chance to look at the menu, or would you like a little more time?” “Actually, we’ve changed our minds on dinner. Can we have the check, pl-“ “Actually, no we haven’t. I would like the filet mignon, medium well. And a Caesar salad.” “Don’t make a scene, Roger. God!” “I’m making a scene? I’m making a scene?” “I’m sorry, I’ll come back in a minute.” “Just give us the goddamn check, waiter.” “Don’t you dare.” “I’ll just come back.”

(Dialogue with two speakers rubbing up against each other)