Common Room Table

The tabletop used to be black. It looks like wood but it is probably plastic because when Dan dropped a live coal on it, it smelled funny and was hollow inside. Recently, it seems that Cooper has been using this hole to keep his toothpicks in. Used toothpicks. This morning, of course, the table was clean. Now look: an empty book of matches, a diet Mountain Dew can, the green case for a missing Xbox disc. Typical. The box of Sweet Melon hookah tobacco is surely empty, that black Xbox controller doesn’t even work, and this light green plastic bag, more likely than not, has drugs inside. What were they doing with a rubber hose? Why are the Rock Band drumsticks out at this hour? One would think they could have at least settled on something, but no: the table is as cluttered as their heads.

So what if that white coffee mug was “borrowed” from the dining hall? You wanted to use it later, and now it’s half full with someone else’s phlegm. It’s no use finding out whose, since there’s no way to clean it out anyways: the bottle of liquid dish soap you just bought has tipped over and is dripping on to the floor. Why? A working hypothesis – Carl sometimes likes to blow bubbles when he’s high. And, while we’re playing detective, it’s worth pointing out that the hookah appears to be missing its hose. Hence the rubber substitute. Is that a battery powered light bulb? Is that a booger? Those idiots. Nothing left to do except turn on the TV and ignore it. Damn! There is soap on the remote.

(This theme is a still life)